If you have doubts about what stage your relationship is, here are six guides to help you out , as posited by experts .
• A lack of excitement and communication. Leading dating coach and psychologist, Jo Hemmings , lists the top reasons that a relationship has come to the end of its course : “Rowing over inconsequential things that never bothered you before.
Or if really bad , not actually arguing at all , because you or your partner simply can ’t be bothered even to row; a growing lack of communication or disconnect, both in and out of the bedroom ; not feeling concerned about who they are with or what they might be doing; increasingly enjoying or looking forward to spending time without your partner ; noticing flaws in your partner , where before you weren ’t aware of them or even loved them for it; feeling that sex is a chore or lacks intimacy, and so begins to lack excitement . ”
• Boredom . James Preece – otherwise known as ‘The Dating Guru ’ – says that one of the most common reasons for couples splitting up is boredom: “If you don ’t get excited about seeing your partner anymore, then something is wrong .
You ’ ve both stopped making an effort and are stuck in the same routines . You go to the same place , do the same things and have the same conversations over and over . It ’s possible to save a relationship by mixing things up again, but if you don ’t want to, then your days are numbered. ”
• Resentment. Resentment is also a strong (and strange - sounding factor ) in a break- up, says James. “If your relationship is strong, then you are a team . Your partner ’ s successes and happiness are yours too ,” he says .
“If you are heading towards a split, then you’ll start to feel these are personal slights against you. Every comment or action they take will begin to annoy you, no matter how well meaning they are. ”
• Arguing . Of course, arguing is also high on the list . “Most couples bicker from time to time and it’ s usually a healthy way to express your feelings.
However, if you find yourselves doing it much more , then there are probably built up issues bubbling away . You ’ll begin to snap at them for the tiniest little things,” comments James.
• Not arguing . But a lack of arguing can also be a bad sign , according to James. “ Even more worrying that arguing too much is when you completely stop. If you can’ t be bothered to fight for what you want then you won ’t be bothered to fight for your relationship. ”
• Your gut feeling . Sometimes, your gut feeling is right : “If your relationship has run its course then you’ll both know deep down , even if you don’ t want to admit it. It will be a nagging little voice telling you that things aren ’t quite right . In this situation , it’s best to talk about what ’s happening and plan a separation as amicably as possible. ”
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